the last real summer break

And now for my obligatory end-of-summer post. It's been a while since I've signed onto here; once the internship started, work and life captured all my usual idle time. I learned A LOT about myself this summer, more than I expected I would learn. Some would know why I learned more than I expected.The internship was, as expected, challenging and exciting at the same time. I met many smart people, and I found a small bunch of people that shared similar outlooks on life, people who knew that hard work paid off, and that nothing was ever going to come easily. I also became friends with people I never thought I would become friends with, and I will once again, allow the benefit of the doubt after initial impressions. The one thing however, is I felt like I was always under scrutiny, always under the careful hawk eye of people in the department. Because the internship was really like a "10-wk interview." By putting it that way, I was always on alert, unable to really keep my cool at work. There was always an underlying stress factor, that if I screw up this time, it would cost me my future. Yes, it's a bit extreme, I realize now, because I should have been more confidant in my own abilities, that I got here because they knew I could coolly perform under such conditions. I was so scared of making a mistake that I forgot that the purpose of the internship was to showcase my abilities and my confidence in those abilities.

That one thing aside, I learned that I enjoyed analyzing language, that when I pay attention to detail, I pay attention to the format and the words used. Maybe a hint to what I will do later on? I also got to talk with a couple of people and their experiences in finding their career. It truly is a process, and its ok to take some time to experiment. I've decided that I will keep my options open, and apply to as many different kinds of jobs to see what will come my way. Kind of casting a large net and seeing what I catch.

I'm excited to get this semester started. It's my last. D and I had an existential moment on Aug 1, when we first realized that this was the last summer of complete freedom. Ok, maybe next summer we'll all still get a few months of true freedom before jobs start, but I think that's just borrowed time. Should go with a BANG for the end of this summer.